It's the pill that you've got to take

hollar

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 00:25:30 GMT

Forgot all about this I might start this back up

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grab your sweaters

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 18:32:20 GMT

It's fall finally. Im feeling better each day it gets a little colder. Well if anyone wants to hang sometime, just get a hold of me at 317 492 7682.

theres never enough time never enough

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 16:31:28 GMT

So sit down and take a look at me.

Im old. Im pretty much married now.

And theres nothing left but work...

looks just like the sun

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 17:14:56 GMT

and we are just kids looking for something to do.

time for a walk

oh well ok

pitch black mile

the morning after

she'll decide what she wants.

Ive been thinking a lot about my last 2 summers here in indy...and i have realized...that i haven't stayed a whole summer. Well this summer i am. My 3rd summer here and its going to be here...not spent in wabash or iowa.

Fri, 30 Mar 2007 02:38:00 GMT

So I got my first tattoo today. I will probably add more to it later. But here it is

His tail is how I look at the world. Right in front of me...waiting for the right moment to pick it up.

what's it worth

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 18:50:03 GMT

my low self esteem is kicking back in.

I hate when i get like this.

Tony is so nice to me.

I dont want him to see this side of me.

Fuck everything

bleh

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 17:52:33 GMT

I'm sick and it hurts to breath...

:( i feel the sinus infection starting...

make me better.

tell me your secrets.

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 17:25:47 GMT

this is weird...

So last night after tony and I got back from the bars...we hopped into bed and I just staired straight over at him. I couldnt help but look at him and wonder why such an amazing man wants to be with me.

So after what I consider the best sex i have had...we are both breathing heavy and he is holding me tight and kissing me all over...and i whisper..."I love you" and he replies with "I love you too" and then kisses me again.

The wierd part about it all is after he said that to me....I started crying. quietly at first...I dont know why I started crying....its like crying in a movie that shows a beautiful part not a sad one...or like a great song that is only complete with tears at the end. It felt like I was the most important person in someones life...and i like that feeling. Im happy with him. And i realized that last night.

no guilt feelings

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 21:15:16 GMT

we all had our reasons...

This is me and my man:)

And i've learned from my old mistakes.

and now ive moved on:)

Today is forever and im eternal.

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 23:19:11 GMT

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Why can't he love me?

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 13:20:09 GMT

someday you will be loved.

Even if he doesnt know how.

Someone else can love me the way I need to be loved. someday

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 22:49:31 GMT

I sometimes wish I could make all my insecurities and put them in a box. I would then lock it up and throw the key...and throw that box in the ocean.

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 02:37:20 GMT

worried you smoke to many ciggaretts.

sang into your machine

you make me happy

when sky's are grey

where i was laid.

things that get stuck inside of your head.

sunrise

sunset

take me

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 15:50:46 GMT

So I spent the whole day yesterday taking pictures and walking around salamony. I love this place for many reasons. But mainly because im free here. No on can touch me.

and we loved everyone

we couldnt stop eachother

with every cheap ciggarrette

i smiled and coughed

and every breath taking view

I cried

I've hid from you

and you through me on the ground

Now you are gone

and im just laying here

with the clouds above my head

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 02:59:02 GMT

today I spent the day with brandy. We had the most amazing day today. We went to fort wayne and spent the day in the car listening to mix tapes.

I was having such a horrible time in wabash untill today. It was a nice relief.

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 13:58:22 GMT

september 19. I will be on an airplain on that day.

My mom took me shopping yesterday. We got some clothes and I got some glasses. It was a nice day.

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 14:13:42 GMT

I miss being alive. I cant wait till im in phoenix.

I think my parents are trying to talk me into staying here in wabash. It isnt going to work. I feel like everyday im crawling a little more out of my skin. Like everyday has more shit I have to deal with. My mom calls phoenix sin city lol.

I think they are just worried though. When they sent my brother luke down there...he ended up in prison....but really...mom dad...would I really go to prison...I mean I like rough gay sex...but please...not in prison.

I guess they dont want me to feel as if I am being sent away...But since it was my idea to move to phoenix....I dont see how thats possible.

Anyway. Ive eaten too much these past few days ive been back. Time for bike riding all over town.

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 18:21:48 GMT

Im in wabash.

I finally set up my room. ill get to a phone soon i promise.

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:13:07 GMT

ive been listening to tom delonges new band...angels and airwaves.

It's like all the sappy blink 182 songs. But a whole albumn filled with it.

But for some reason. Every fucking song seems like it's talking to me.

Oh well. Im alive. Ill survive everything. Because I am a strong and healthy individual. I wont let heart ache and pain keep me away from anything. Ive fucked up so much. But im learning. Slowly i am learning.

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 13:27:11 GMT

erin killed himself yesterday...

why? I know everyone asks this question...

It's true i guess. The only cure for depression is death.

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 08:31:54 GMT

im angry.

hear my roar.

interesting

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 06:37:14 GMT

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I love epitaths

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 16:30:14 GMT

Cursive just keeps getting better and better. This song is probably amazing.

seriously. listen to it.

Ill burn the new cd and send it to you. seriously.

"Rise Up!! Rise Up!!"

dear preacher, thanks for making time for me today
hope you don't mind if i hide behind the curtain
it's been fifteen years since my last confession
by your good book's standards, i've sinned like a champion
but that book seems a tad bit out-dated

please forgive me, for questioning divinity
it's an ugly job, but i think i'm up for it
i'm not saying who's right
i'm just saying there's more than one way
to skin a religion
there's more than one way
to explain our existence

reverend, sir, i don't want to seem malevolent
my teenage angst is far behind me
but father, certainly it's troubling to see
all these people kneeling, instead of dealing
with the fact that we are all we have

so, rise up! rise up!
there's no one to worship!
but plenty of life to lose!
i'm not saying "let's burn down the church"
but do you want to hear my confession?
it's my greatest sin..

okay, here it is:
i wasted half my life on the thought that i'd live forever!
i wasn't raised, to seize the day, but to work and worship
'cause "he that liveth and believeth" supposedly never dies

rise up! rise up!
and live a full life!
'cause when it's over, it's done
so rise up! rise up!
dance and scream and love!

you're not the chosen one
and i'm not the chosen one

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 07:39:19 GMT

this is how I feel http://fat-pie.com/scribblewatch.htm

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 10:47:41 GMT

So last night I went and met steven downtown. We walked for a while...then we went to iupui. He played queen on his labtop for me.:)

When we got to my house we layed in my bed and talked at night.

I could lay next to him talking about anything. He makes me feel good about life.